I know it's been a while since I put forth anything, but this is just too important

Most of you may not know that Mike and Ike, of Mike and Ike brand candy, have decided to split up. Not very amicably it seems.

Apparently, during the split, one of those cocksuckers has decided that the green M&I's are not communal property. Come on guys! I don't know anyone that doesn't love the lime M&I's! I have to say that I feel lucky if I get one in a box anymore. 

I know you guys aren't happy, we've all been there. But come on! Are you going to make us suffer just because you want to punish each other?

Damn it guys, you have a lot of history together. There is no denying that. Yes, over that amount of time a lot of resentments can develop, but all that history... Let's be real. Admit it-There were good times too. Don't let go of those. At the end of the day that's all we have. I don't know about you, but I'd rather think about pleasant things than dwell on the negatives.

See? Aren't those beautiful? When I was a kid, I didn't want the orange or lemon flavors, but now I see the big picture. Green, Red, Pink, Yellow, Orange. Take away any one and the whole  becomes less than the sum. The perfect balance... But all pieces are imperative to the perfect simplicity, or simple perfection, or something. I dunno. Those are questions of the ages that the great philosophers will debate endlessly, much as the question of the Giant Flying Spaghetti Monster. 

You just cannot be the same without each other:

Please guys, talk it out. Your problems can be solved. You just have to try.

For the sake of all of us, work it out.